A Christmas Song
B Ryce
[Verse 1]
December rolls in like a freight train
The mall smells like cinnamon and panic
Every parking spot is a battlefield
And I lose every time
[Chorus]
I hate the crowds
I hate the lines
I hate the wrapping paper that never fits right
But the best part of having a wife
Is she handles most of it
And the only store I'll walk into
Is DICK'S Sporting Goods
[Verse 2]
The carolers block the entrance
Some kid is screaming by the fountain
I'm dodging shopping bags and strollers
Like I'm running through barbed wire
[Chorus]
I hate the crowds
I hate the lines
I hate the wrapping paper that never fits right
But the best part of having a wife
Is she handles most of it
And the only store I'll walk into
Is DICK'S Sporting Goods
[Bridge]
She's got the patience of a saint
I've got the temper of a rabid dog
She makes the lists and checks them twice
While I'm in the sporting goods aisle
Buying myself something nice
[Breakdown - Screamed]
JINGLE BELLS CAN GO TO HELL
THIS SEASON MAKES ME WANT TO YELL
[Final Chorus]
I hate the crowds
I hate the lines
I hate the wrapping paper that never fits right
But the best part of having a wife
Is she handles most of it
And the only store I'll walk into
Is DICK'S Sporting Goods
[Outro]
DICK'S and done
DICK'S and done
That's how I survive the holidays
Versions
A Christmas Song (Version A)
B Ryce
Version A
A Christmas Song (Version B)
B Ryce
Version B